You are currently browsing the tag archive for the ‘joshua jackson’ tag.

Ahhh, Friday. The most glorious of all days. The sun shines brighter, the birds chirp louder, and the alcohol flows freely (or else, it will closer towards evening when my roommate and I head out to dance the night away). And although Fridays do put an extra special bounce in my Old-Navy-flip-flopped step, there are a few storm clouds on my otherwise sunny horizon that I need to address: Poorly Paired Celebrity Couples.

Yes, I KNOW that this topic keeps you awake at night too, grinding your teeth, rocking back and forth slowly muttering “What the HELL, TomKat? Brangelina? UGH”…and then you have to slap yourself because you’ve wasted brain cells and perfectly good sleep time AND because you’re combining celebrity couples’ names – which is so freaking annoying and needs to stop immediately (I blame Ryan Seacrest, even though I’m not quite sure it’s his fault…it’s just amusing to blame him for all of the world’s problems). 

So, thanks to the brilliant suggestion from a close friend of mine, let’s suspend reality for a few fleeting moments.

 

Guilty Pleasure Friday: Get Back Together, Please!

1. Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears – Pop Music Royalty

The world may have been a better place if these two had just worked out their problems and stayed together. They were practically engineered for each other; God/Buddha/Whoever did a coordinating paint-by-numbers from the PopStars collection and procured its Prince and Princess in J.T. and BritBrit. If they got back together, she could probably hold onto a shred of sanity, a decent hair weave, and at least partial custody of her kids. Justin would stop being so brooding and serious and could help Britney out by doing another duet to showcase his mad beatbox skills. Oh, how I hope to one day live in a world where Justin and Britney are once again united by unconditional love, laughter, and matching denim outfits.

  

2. Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt – Hollywood’s Golden Couple

I still think that their break up is a publicity stunt. I’ll wake up Monday and the headlines will read: Too Perfect Together To Ever Be Apart. I mean, come on you guys! It’s been years and people (well, me) are still not over your divorce. Brad, yes, Angelina Jolie seems incredibly hard to resist, what with the piercing blue eyes, amazing tattooed body, and those infamous lips, but even you must admit she’s a shady character. She used to wear Billy Bob’s blood in a vial around her neck, admitted to collecting and having a (sometimes sexual) fascination with knives, and made out with her brother on many occasions. I know she’s practically a Saint these days, but WOW that’s a LOT of baggage. Wouldn’t you rather be with sweet, down-to-earth, naturally gorgeous Jennifer?

And, Jen, hang in there. I bet when Angelina is trying to convince Brad to adopt and save their 27th child he’s just going to throw up his hands and say “ENOUGH. I did NOT sign up for this,” and come running back to you.

 

3. Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson – Beauty and No Brains

I’m going to admit it once and for all, I miss Newlyweds. These two, while sometimes gross and lots of time idiotic, were supremely entertaining together. Jessica sang her best songs and looked fantastic; Nick drank a lot of beer and got invited to Playboy Mansion Parties. What a great combination! Since then, Jess has had no career to speak of and Nick has still been working out and probably still drinking lots of beer. I know he is dating that pretty Vanessa girl, but their relationship just seems so ‘eh’ and boring – just two attractive people who photograph well together and always seem to be wearing swimsuits. Nick, where’s the passion? The steamy music videos? The tank tops??? Get back together with Jessica before she completely collapses in on herself like a dying star. Then maybe you could try to launch your solo career again…

Hahaha, kidding. Please don’t.

 

4. Katie Holmes and well, anybody else…

    

Don’t get me wrong, I would LOVE, LOVE, LOVE for Katie Holmes to get back together with Joshua Jackson (who wouldn’t?), but in all honesty, I would LOVE for Katie Holmes to get with anybody other than Tom “crazy eyes” Cruise. Besides, she and Josh dated only briefly while filming the first 2 seasons of Dawson’s Creek, and that was quite some time ago. Who knows if it would really happen again?

Then again, Katie dated and was engaged to Chris Klein for years. I don’t really know much about their relationship but their couple-y pictures seem lovely, normal, and socially acceptable (all the missing pieces of her current relationship). So, Katie, for the love of Buddha, just pick somebody else. Being with Tom makes you look dead inside, makes you dress in really bad clothes, and makes you look like a giant.

You want another reason? Here. This photo is making EVERYBODY UNCOMFORTABLE:

 

YIKES.

 

*Update – I JUST noticed that not only is Tom Cruise totally creepy beyond all reason but he is soaking wet. What IS that, sweat? Like Katie needs ANOTHER reason to leave him. Ew.

 

**photos from people.com, timeinc.com, nsyncfans.com

Advertisements

A slightly different take on the Boy, Boys, Boys post, I have compiled a list of my top 5 favorite female celebrities. Gals that I admire and would gladly trade places with. Girl crushes, if you will.

1. The Golden Girl: Reese Witherspoon

Hands down, all around most fabulous celeb I’d like to trade lives with. Everything she touches turns to gold (well, minus that awful-looking movie Just Like Heaven – yikes – but hey, we’ve all made mistakes). She’s so naturally gorgeous that she even looks amazing running errands (seriously, NOT FAIR). She’s been in great movies – Walk the Line, Cruel Intentions, Sweet Home Alabama (you know you love it). She is the face of Avon, owns her own production company (Type A Films), volunteers all over the world, is one of the highest paid actresses ($15-20 million per flick) in America, has been on People’s ‘100 Most Beautiful’ list 4 times, has 2 adorable kids who will probably grow up to be sane and down to earth people (sorry, Suri, you will not make this list), dates Jake Gyllenhaal, etc, etc, etc.

She might be perfect. And, as this makes me realize how far from perfection I am, sort of hope she snaps and gets photographed attacking an SUV with an umbrella or something.

 

2. The Girl Next Door: Rachel Bilson

Have you ever had a friend who you’re insanely jealous of but you can’t hate because she’s so damn nice all the time? I imagine Rachel is that type of girl. She just seems so natural and so refreshingly normal that it’s borderline irritating. She likes to go for walks with her dog (who’s name is Thurmen Murmen, which I find hilarious), loves watching Jeopardy,and has been quoted saying if she wasn’t an actress she’d be a preschool teacher. UGH. Don’t you just want to go punch her in the face but then apologize and invite her over to drink PBR’s and watch Super Troopers?

 

3. The Girl Who Could Kick Your Ass & Still Look Good: Mariska Hargitay

Christopher Meloni made the Boys, Boys, Boys list; it’s only natural Ms. Olivia Benson from Law and Order: SVU makes the cut too. What can I say? They may just be the perfect pair. The highest paid actress on TV, Mariska is also the founder of The Joyful Heart Foundation (to help victims of sexual abuse). She is probably the coolest woman in the world, and it’s my secret hope that she one day becomes President of the United States, even though playing a detective on NBC probably isn’t the best prerequisite for running a country but whatever.

 

4. The Hottest Girl in the Entire World: Shakira

Literally, I imagine she can melt people. She’s not only amazingly talented (recognized as a superstar the world over) and kind (she’s donated about $45 million to various charities), but she can move her body in ways nobody else can. Don’t believe me? Watch her video for La Tortura and tell me I’m wrong (I triple dog dare you). I’d even go so far as to say I’d consider swinging both ways for her. Yeah, I said it.

 

5. The Alternate: Katie Holmes

Get. Rid. Of. Tom.

Seriously, Katie, what in the world were you thinking?? Just slip some Tylenol PM into his morning protein shake before he impregnates you again, and GET THE HELL OUT. Then maybe you can officially make it on my list.

Oh, and if you happen to rekindle a romance with Joshua Jackson that would really just make my life totally complete. Seriously, not even kidding one little bit, do it NOW.

 

 ***UPDATE (9/25/08): One my closest friends just started her very own blog and has written about her own favorite celebrity girls! Check it out at Five Days Between. Wo ai ni, Connie!

 

**for photo credits click on above pictures

Remember that Friends episode where Ross and Rachel pick 5 celebrities of the opposite sex they would be allowed a ‘freebie’ with? Well, guess what loyal reader(s), I have a list of my own! After many sleepless nights, I present to you: My Five (in no particular order).

1. John Krasinski – Jim Halpert from The Office

I’m such a sucker for you, John/Jim. I have a thing for nerdy underdogs with a great sense of humor and adorable smile. I am embarrassed to admit that I think I’m honest-to-god in love with you. I have memorized every episode of your show, done countless Google searches for your biographies and photos, and keep a life-sized cut-out of you propped up in my kitchen so I can get up every morning, enjoy my coffee, and say “Good morning, sweetheart! Did you sleep well?”

Whoops…I may have said too much (that’s what we call an overshare). I promise I’m not insane! But seriously, John, I’d love if you could mail me some of your hair and maybe an old sweater so I can add them to the statue I’m making of you.

2. Joshua Jackson – Pacey from Dawson’s Creek 

Cue the Paula Cole theme song, and get me my row boat! Because, Josh/Pacey, I don’t want to wait for my life to be over.  I want to know right now, what will it be? Stop leading me on with your completely adorable grin, your devil-may-care slacker attitude, and your sexy cable-knit sweaters! I demand to know where you went after Dawson’s Creek ended. Come back soon because I’m starting to think you don’t love me the way I love you.

3. Christopher Meloni – Elliot Stabler from Law and Order: SVU

Is there anything better than watching Benson and Stabler kick the shit out of pedophiles? I think NOT. This show is my crack. I am 100% out-of-my-mind addicted, and Chris Meloni is mostly to blame. He has a gun and a badge, a penchant for breaking all the rules, and tough bad-boy image. Done and done.

(Oh, and Mary Frances? I know you’re going to post some comment about his receding hairline, and you know what? I think it’s sexy so don’t even bother.)

4. Ami James – from Miami Ink

I certainly don’t expect any of you to understand the bond we share – how a bad boy tattoo artist living in Miami can have such a powerful connection with a 23 year old Development Coordinator from Richmond, VA – but there’s something about you that I can’t get enough of, Mr. James. I dig your bald head, hardcore tattoos and low rise jeans. Call me up sometime and maybe we can get inked together.

5. Taylor Hanson

STOP JUDGING ME.

 

**photos from givememyremote.com, nbc.com, buddytv.com