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Halloween lessons learned from celebrities – when you don’t have a creative bone in your body and can’t come up with a fun, interesting costume, dress like a slut! Because, as Mean Girls says, it is the one day of the year that girls can get away with dressing like total whores and nobody can say anything about it.

That must have been what happened to these women:

[Tracy Bingham]

[Kim Kardashian]

[Mariah Carey]

[Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt]

 

Sigh. We get it ladies. Now put your (large, probably fake) boobs away please.

Oh, and Heidi? Shoot him.

 

**photos from thesuperficial.com

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Friday AND Halloween on the same day – does life get any better than this? Only if you’re reading Guilty Pleasure Fridays! Ha, see what I did there? A little self-promotion never hurts, people. Moving on…

This Guilty Pleasure Friday post is dedicated to HALLOWEEN. Have fun and remember to only eat the individually wrapped candy, to stay in groups when going out, and to not dress like complete whores and pass it off as ‘costumes’ (ahem, JMU undergrad girls, I’ll be in Harrisonburg this weekend and I really do NOT want to see anyone in a thong and saying it’s Moulin Rouge – and yes, I’ve seen it before). Anywho, I love a good costume almost as much as those crazy anchors on The Today Show and thought I’d share those and some others. Enjoy!

1. The Today Show cast over the years:

[As the Munsters]

[Al Roker and Matt Lauer are the Pirates of the Carribean, Ann Curry is Cher, Meredith Viera is a mermaid and Natalie Morales is Madonna]

 [Matt Lauer as J.Lo and Al Roker as P. Diddy / Puff Daddy / whatever his name is these days]

And my personal favorite Today Show costume (get ready!)…

[Matt Lauer as Paris Hilton, hahahahaha – you know this makes your life complete, admit it]

2.Regis Philbin and Kelly Ripa are adorable and hilarious:

[as David and Victoria Beckham]

[as High School Musical kids – Regis looks like a sketchball here]

 3. Cindy Crawford dressed up as Amy Winhouse and even had a fake cocaine smear under her nose! 

 Cindy Crawford

 Cindy Crawford

 

WARNING: Scary sh*t – not for the faint of heart!

 

 

 

Happy Halloween from the scariest looking celebrity around! This is the one day of the year I can tolerate Amy Winehouse’s ghastly, ghostly appearance. Tomorrow I’m back to hatin’ on the bitch.

David Beckham is, judging from these photos, an ass-man.

David Beckham wants him some

(April 2008)

David Beckham scoping out some cheerleader ass

(May 2008)

David Beckham loves him some cheerleader ass

(October 2008)

His facial expressions crack me up. He looks like a starving dog begging for food; if I look closely I can see drool. And, metaphoriclly speaking, he is starving since he’s married to a human stick figure who disappears when she turns sideways (literally, look closely below).

 

Let this be a lesson to us, ladies, that most men prefer some curves and not twiggy, brittle, little-boy figures. So Posh, for the love of carbohydrates, eat a freakin’ sandwich once every week or so (start slow, honey). And maybe buy a cheerleader’s uniform and prance around your mansion sometimes.

Apparently, Tara Reid is designing her own clothing line called Mantra. She’s wearing something from it in the following photo…

…it’s the flimsy, yellow t-shirt (nipples not included). I could understand if the shoes were from her line – gold, sparkly, hookerish – because they sort of seem like her thing, albeit tricky to walk in when drunk or high (because she would know).

Anywho, let’s make (even more) fun of Tara because, dammit, it makes me feel better about myself. And let’s do it via poll because that makes everything more fun. Click away, people.

I always wanted to be famous. I always wanted that adrenaline rush of people knowing my name and wanting to take photos with me. I’d love the opportunities to help out those around me, to travel to see different cultures, to influence the younger generation, and to see myself (after the makeup and hair crew helped me out) on a movie screen (I know some of those reasons are selfish but whatever, sorry people).

This quote from Ashley Olsen’s interview with the New York Times makes me wish otherwise:

“Honestly, I’m a wreck. Every time I see a camera, I’m a wreck. I don’t tend to react as though ‘I have to do this, it’s my job.’ I am reacting as a woman who is 5-foot-1 whose space is being invaded by a bunch of men whose aggression I can literally feel. In L.A. it is even worse because they are running red lights behind you, and I worry all the time about something terrible happening, someone getting hurt because of me, how I could ever possibly live with that. I can’t imagine what it would be like to have kids in the back seat and have to go through this and pretend for their sake that you are not scared.”

(Ashley Olsen)

Here are some more frightening and ridiculously overwhelming photos of paparazzi madness.

(Britney Spears)

(Paris Hilton)

(Jim Carey and Jenny McCarthy)

(Mandy Moore)

(Katie Holmes and Suri)

This last one sort of breaks my heart.

 

**for links, click photos

 

1. Interested in learning more about your snazzy blog author? Check out Elizabeth Says (more).

2. Other entertaining celebrity news blogs: Evil Beet Gossip, The Superficial

3. Meet some of my friends: Erat Hora, Quirky and Talented, Love the Questions, Five Days Between, Made in Richmond

4. Need a good laugh?:Someecards, Overheard in the Office

In honor of Friday, let’s all ditch work early, abuse a local bar’s happy hour, get drunk enough to make some impetuously bad decisions, and take an adult field trip  to a tattoo parlor. Yayyy, woohoo FUN. Who’s with me?! Anyone? Anyone? FINE. If you change your mind give me a holler and we’ll go make our parents proud with some mighty fine fresh ink.

In the mean time, let’s play a game! Check out the tattoos below (my favs), guess the celebrity and then click on the photo for the answer. Weeee! Friday = fun day.

 

 

 

 

**photos from tattooblog.org, tattoodesigns.files.wordpress.com, theinsider.com

Ok, they were annoying before, but Speidi (Spencer Pratt + Heidi Montag) just made it on my HATE list.

Spencer’s shirt reads: “Palin for VP – God, Guns, Glory”

Heidi’s shirt reads: “Read my lipstick- Vote McCain Palin”

Somebody is going to physically hurt them for this little stunt. And I’m not saying it’s going to be me, but in case the headlines tomorrow read “SPENCER AND HEIDI ATTACKED BY CRAZY BRUNETTE WITH DESK SCISSORS AND A STAPLE REMOVER” (not my weapons of choice, but the ones I have easy access to at the moment), I will have fled the country and this blog will cease to exist. I’m willing to sacrifice myself for the greater good of living in a world where there is no Speidi.

Huh. This surprises me since I didn’t know either of them could read. Maybe they tried but got confused and decided to make out instead. That sounds about right.

 

 *UPDATE (10 minutes after posting): Oh wait, there’s more…

Shit, Spencer must’ve heard I was coming at him with desk supply weapons because HE GOT HIMSELF A GUN. I guess I’ll have to swing by the house and pick up my remote mines, rocket launcher, and laser gun before heading to Los Angeles.

And, yes, I used to play a lot of Nintendo 64’s James Bond: GoldenEye.

 

**photos from celebslam.celebuzz.com

Lindsay (which I’ve been spelling ‘Lindsey’ for quite some time now, sorry people) Lohan apparently has a CD coming out this month. I wasn’t aware she still recorded songs – although I wasn’t aware she was doing anything besides continually causing media speculation and smoking cartons of cigarettes, so kudos for doing something else with your life. Anywho, here is the cover for her album:

 

**photo from evilbeetgossip.com