Remember that Friends episode where Ross and Rachel pick 5 celebrities of the opposite sex they would be allowed a ‘freebie’ with? Well, guess what loyal reader(s), I have a list of my own! After many sleepless nights, I present to you: My Five (in no particular order).
1. John Krasinski – Jim Halpert from The Office
I’m such a sucker for you, John/Jim. I have a thing for nerdy underdogs with a great sense of humor and adorable smile. I am embarrassed to admit that I think I’m honest-to-god in love with you. I have memorized every episode of your show, done countless Google searches for your biographies and photos, and keep a life-sized cut-out of you propped up in my kitchen so I can get up every morning, enjoy my coffee, and say “Good morning, sweetheart! Did you sleep well?”
Whoops…I may have said too much (that’s what we call an overshare). I promise I’m not insane! But seriously, John, I’d love if you could mail me some of your hair and maybe an old sweater so I can add them to the statue I’m making of you.
2. Joshua Jackson – Pacey from Dawson’s Creek
Cue the Paula Cole theme song, and get me my row boat! Because, Josh/Pacey, I don’t want to wait for my life to be over. I want to know right now, what will it be? Stop leading me on with your completely adorable grin, your devil-may-care slacker attitude, and your sexy cable-knit sweaters! I demand to know where you went after Dawson’s Creek ended. Come back soon because I’m starting to think you don’t love me the way I love you.
3. Christopher Meloni – Elliot Stabler from Law and Order: SVU
Is there anything better than watching Benson and Stabler kick the shit out of pedophiles? I think NOT. This show is my crack. I am 100% out-of-my-mind addicted, and Chris Meloni is mostly to blame. He has a gun and a badge, a penchant for breaking all the rules, and tough bad-boy image. Done and done.
(Oh, and Mary Frances? I know you’re going to post some comment about his receding hairline, and you know what? I think it’s sexy so don’t even bother.)
4. Ami James – from Miami Ink
I certainly don’t expect any of you to understand the bond we share – how a bad boy tattoo artist living in Miami can have such a powerful connection with a 23 year old Development Coordinator from Richmond, VA – but there’s something about you that I can’t get enough of, Mr. James. I dig your bald head, hardcore tattoos and low rise jeans. Call me up sometime and maybe we can get inked together.
5. Taylor Hanson
STOP JUDGING ME.
**photos from givememyremote.com, nbc.com, buddytv.com