Exhibit A, Kiera Knightley:

Try to ignore the hair in her eyes. Try to ignore the awful posture – maybe she has to slump over so far because her chest might fall out of her dress if she stands up straight…oh, what we ladies sacrifice for fashion. She looks like she needs a few (hundred) pieces of pizza. She doesn’t even fake looking happy. She just looks, well, famished. In fact, looking at this photo for so long has made my stomach start to growl and my bones start to ache. I’m dedicating everything I eat today to you, Kiera.


Exhibit B, Kristen Bell:

 Kristen, I adore you! I think you’re perky, quirky and very down-to-earth (I’ll pretend to know you on a personal level). In fact, I think we’d hit it off quite well. We’d become fast friends and chat about your fun movies and fabulous clothes. You’d tell me interesting tidbits about your costars from Forgetting Sarah Marshall (how awkward was it to do that scene opposite a nude, crying Jason Segal?) and describe how beautiful filming in Europe is for your new film When in Rome. But I’ll tell you, it looks like we would NOT be gossiping while enjoying lunch, dinner or any other food-related activity. Kristen, why is it painful to look at you in that bathing suit picture? Please treat yourself to a steak AND dessert next time you’re thinking about dinner. I like you too much to watch you disintegrate.

 Lastly, Exhibit C, Amy Winehouse:

Oh Hell, not eating seems to be the least of her problems.  I’m too hungry after writing this post to delve into the abysmal black pit of burning evil that is AMY WINEHOUSE. Another time, after a nice lunch perhaps?


**photos from people.com, melodyplant.com